Ambivalently Yours is the anonymous online persona that I created help myself become a more badass feminist. Inspired by a decade of employment in the fashion industry, juxtaposed with an undying love of feminist art, my work as Ambivalently Yours aims to highlight the potential for political resistance that exists within conflicting emotions.
Ambivalence means simultaneously loving and hating. While these feelings can often lead to passive behaviour, they don’t necessarily have to. Part of being a feminist is about advocating for a woman’s right to choose. This right, however, does not imply there is only one choice, or that a final decision needs to be reached in order to achieve political change. For example, my commitment to feminism could only happen once I gave myself permission to also embrace my love of fashion and the colour pink, two things often associated with the patriarchal domination of women. This refusal to choose between traditional femininity and radical feminism allowed for another space to exist: not a space of indecision but rather a space of undeciding. My choice is not to choose, but to remain in-between, creating a space where conflicting feelings are confronted and reevaluated through the sharing of anonymous ambivalent notes and stickers left in public spaces and posted online.
Inspired by the D-I-Y zines of the Riot Grrrl movement, and the feminist understanding that the personal is political, my small acts of rebellion as Ambivalently Yours are meant as conversation starters, acts of compassion and examples of active ambivalence.
I can’t always make up my mind,
but I am boldly undecided.