❤ I can't always make up my mind, but I am boldly undecided. ❤

31 October 2011


Cause of ambivalence:
My wedding (and the idea of being a bride-to-be)

Note contents:
"Dear upcoming wedding,
I love that you're the perfect excuse to by an amazing dress and have an amazing party with everyone I love, but I hate that the second I announced you, some people stopped seeing me, but could only see a bride-to-be. ❤
ps. I hate baby's breath!!!!"

Place left:
In a wedding book in the library.

When I decided to postpone my wedding to focus on school, my commitment to my partner was immediately questioned. I quickly realized that using the excuse that my fiancé was beginning his PHD was a more acceptable justification for prolonging our engagement. It seems that as a bride-to-be, my priority was to be my wedding above everything else. When I got engaged, no one asked me about my career or my studies anymore. It was as though I couldn’t be a student and a fiancé, it was either one or the other, and the latter was obviously more fun to talk about. This attitude began to make me resent the idea of getting married and made me want to rebel against all of the traditions and conventions I was expected to follow. Postponing my wedding to focus on my education became the biggest rebellion of all. This rebellion, in turn, allowed me to become excited about my wedding again.

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