9 July 2011
IN THE CAB
Cause of ambivalence:
My coral dress (and the act of getting all dolled up)
"Dear coral dress, we looked pretty good together tonight... nonetheless my night was only so-so. ❤"
In the cab I took home at the end of the night.
Often, my favorite part of going out is the primping time before I leave the house, especially on the nights when everything comes together effortlessly. You know those nights when you hair falls just right, your outfit hugs you in all the right places and you feel invincible? Why is it that those nights always end up being the most disappointing?
In her 1984 essay, Age, Race, Class and Sex: Women Redefining Difference, African-American feminist writer, Audre Lorde points out how white women are regularly faced with the false perception that they are more equal to their oppressor, an illusion not present for women of color. This false belief of equality makes it more likely for white women to be seduced by the fantasy of patriarchy, and increase their willingness to conform to its rules. This can also lead white women to engage in the oppression of others, as a way of avoiding their own oppression.
Lorde writes: “(...) it is easier once again for white women to believe the dangerous fantasy that if you are good enough, pretty enough, sweet enough, quiet enough, teach the children to behave, hate the right people, and marry the right men, then you will be allowed to co-exist with patriarchy in relative peace, at least until a man needs your job or the neighborhood rapist happens along.”
I guess my question is: how do you acknowledge the fantasy without killing all the fun?
 Lorde, Audre. Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. (Trumansburg, NY: Crossing Press, 1984) Print, p.857
Labels: MY AMBIVALENCE